It’s been a while since I last wrote about something close to my heart, but today I felt like my emotions tried to resurface. I’m sure each of us have a zillion things to do every single day.It’s either taking tuition classes to do better than ‘Sharmaji’s’ daughter, trying to work out and look your best to impress the new love interest, or just obsessed with competing with yourself, like I am. A populated city like Mumbai does that to us. Do you remember the last genuine,non work related laugh you had about a cute habit?
P.S I did have the song ‘never forget you’ by Zara Larsson playing in the background when I wrote this.
We’re running away from emotions aren’t we? ‘why feel anymore!’. Thanks to the internet, we’re turning into little heartless monsters. One cute baby, cat or a dog video is our dose of emotion for the day. We locked our good old buddy emotion in the bottom cellar of our brain and won’t let it resurface anymore because we need to portray how strong we are! ‘oh my life is perfect, why let social media know i’m sad? my friends will think i’m weird and gradually unfriend me’. I dare you to post a selfie of you in pain. Truth be told, we’re ashamed.
(PFA, This is where we store emotion)
I revisited my little buddy emotion today after 1 year of trying to avoid it. Trust me it was a bad idea. That emotion led to a painful memory, which had no place in my heart anymore. My little buddy took me to good and bad places at the same time. Emo took me to limbo. Emo acted like a time machine and took me to 2014. That year welcomed new people, new attachments which emo took pictures of and turned into an album. I burned the album by the end of 2015 and never looked back. ‘out of sight is out of mind’ became my constant slogan. I crossed yet another milestone in my life and kept looking forward. There was no turning back indeed .2 days ago, I had a dream with the people in it from 2014. Emo had slyly transferred the pictures onto my heart disk. So there they were, those feelings, memories, moments which flashed back. I still remember the way she laughed & reacted to things. The way he ate. It all felt soo real.
I finally got out of that dammed time machine and swore I’d never go back. When I got back to reality, it just struck me how heartless I’ve become! I just let them go, wherever they were, without thinking of the times they actually stuck by me, made me laugh and just made life better. I didn’t appreciate the past and the present, but I selfishly awaited the future. Emo indeed taught me a lesson about ‘never letting go’. What if one day you wake up realizing you don’t have the people you’re highly attached to anymore? that’s exactly how I felt and decided to just focus on the present. It’s okay to feel, absolutely okay to cry when we revisit memories. Nobody turns p***y or gay, hey we’re all just human here :’)